For Anna

Glee - Don't Stop Believin'

Sweet Anna, my justifiably absent co-blogger, has been slammed with an autoimmune disease that is debilitating, painful and worst of all not curable. Remarkably, it is the same disease I was diagnosed with 9 years ago.

No one can fully understand another person's experience until they've lived it and even then it is through different filters, perspectives and emotions. As they say...Until you walk a mile...But, nothing can be more of a comfort than hearing someone say "I've been there," (and meaning it) "I understand what you're going through."

While Anna is struggling with her disease in greater proportion than I ever have...I dedicate this video to her - to you Anna, as my way of saying: I've been there and I understand what you're going through. Don't give up, it will get better...and I love you. Oh, and I picked this to remind you what the good kind of chills on the back of your neck feel like that lead to inspiration rather than curling up in a ball.

Destinisia

Have you ever gone somewhere and forgotten why you went? Yeah, that happened to me today...if you saw a woman turning in circles at the grocery store looking perplexed and lost...that was me! Awkward. Yeah, I'm sure people were thinking "Oh, look at that poor girl, she's a little slow." It's called Destinisia. (Thanks Urban Dictionary)

Anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah, since Anna and I live across the country from each other, we need to talk to each other face to face rather than ear to ear. Mostly because I'm a retard who can't hear people on cell phones and just end up saying "Huh?!" the whole time and nothing gets communicated whatsoever. We could text, but we always have so much to talk about - we'd be thumb lashing each other ourselves into carpal thumbal. So, we use iChat. I love technology (except when it doesn't work) and iChat or Skype - is priceless. One of the best conversations Anna and I have ever had via iChat is shown below. We covered so many topics, talked about all the important things going on in our lives - school, work, kids, boys and...well...you'll see. I have to warn you though, Anna and I have kind of our own language. We are "Agent Zoeys" after all.




Poor Bean was trying to get in on the action.

ANNA CHRONICLES

i'm just now realizing how insane i am to move to one of the biggest cities in the world, by myself. i've been living here for 6 months, and i'm LITERALLY just NOW realizing how insane i am. woah crazy

i'm all alone in this wonderful city. sometimes i'm paranoid, sometimes i'm lonely, sometimes i'm excited, sometimes i'm disgusted, i'm all these different things every second of every day. but all the time i'm happy to be here.

i think my life is a mess right now. and i know exactly what i have to do to fix it. and i just can't figure out why i haven't done it yet. i don't know if it's because i'm scared or if it's because i am lazy. either way...earlier this evening i was feeling pretty sorry for my lonely self because of a million reasons that really don't matter but after about 5 minutes i decided to stop feeling sorry for myself (yay me!) and to start doing something (YAY YAY ME!). i always know i will feel much better after i do something. but for some reason when i feel sorry for myself i think i just want to sit and "feel the pain" and really i will feel much better once i do something. even if that something is as small as taking a shower. it really helps. i wonder why....
POSTED BY ANNA

ok, okAY HERE I AM!

Sorry it has taken me so long i know i'm lame. SORRY!

i'm on my roof laying in the sun i'm sweating because it's so sunny, luckily not humid, yet. it's my day off and i'm going to a ballet class in a bit. (i'm saying all this to make Claire jealous and then she WILL come visit.) i'm listening to Adele, you should listen to her if you don't already.

So as Claire mentioned i have been crazy busy. Yes, i know everyone is but i HAVE been.

i had five college girls come visit me, so counting Grace and i there were seven nineteen year old girls in an apartment in New York City. it was crazy. i didn't really sleep...at all. it was kind of hard to balance what everyone wanted to do/ hard to spend time with everyone/ hard to stay focused at dance/ hard to stay focused at work/ hard and impossible to have alone time (which is something i've gotten used to having since i moved here) it was ALSO hard to not spend money when we went shopping (i think i spent the most...shoot) which is partly why i'm broke
BUT i got a lot of super cute things and they were ALL good deals...i have a serious problem...i blame my mom.

Anyway i LOVED having the girls here. i miss them all a lot! We went out and a great time.

There is Another Author Here...Somewhere

I've been bugging Anna to write more. I felt the world needed to get to know her better, read more posts from her--as she is my co-author here on Agent Zoey. I totally understand she's still getting settled in the big city, getting all SJP on me (minus the Manolos) and with her dance classes, acting classes and work, it's all very hectic. So, I conjured up a little interview to get her creative mind whirring (and to get some dish on her life in NY as it's been 19 years since I lived there, I have to live vicariously through her). Here's how the interview went:
Me: Yo Chica! What's the down low on the NYC foshizzle?
Anna: ------
Me: Ahem...So, what's your favorite thing about New York?
Anna: ------
Me: Ok, um, what's your least favorite thing about New York?
Anna: ------
Me: Did I lose ya somewhere back at hello? Was it the slang? 'Cause I can tone it down. Chillax and all.
Anna: ------
Me: Do we have a bad connection?
Anna: ------
Me: Uh, are you there? Anna?
--New phone call--
Anna: I have three friends visiting and the apartment all to ourselves. At 3am in the morning we turn all the lights off, crank the music and dance.
Me: (To myself) I gotta get my ass to New York.

How do dreams come true? Step 1: Admit what they are!

It's about a half hour past midnight, I'm in New York and tonight I realized (again) that I'm not doing what I want to do, what I came here to do. Before I moved here people kept asking me what I was going to do in New York my answer was pretty shitty. "um I'm going to work and live and see what happens" well time to stop beating around the bush (ew I hate that I just said "beating around the bush"). "I'm here because I want to be on Broadway!" There I finally said it. It's been my dream forever. I love performing but that dream seems so cliche to me that I can't stand telling people that's what I want to do.

posted by anna