Friday, January 9, 2009


We're being held hostage in our home. If you hear from us in the usual time period call for reinforcements! The four-legged members of our family have taken over. First I started noticing our language and conversations change. Instead of the usual, "Dinner is good mom" or, "Could you please pass the salad?" I would hear, "Could you watch my food for me so the dogs don't eat it?" or as Bean said last night, "I can't go to the bathroom because Lola will eat my food!" It has progressively gotten worse. We are now becoming obsessive/compulsive about making sure NO FOOD is accessible to these thieves. I shoot up in bed to ask J, "Did you put all the food away?" The kids ask me before we leave the house, "Did we leave the cereal box out?" I've succumb to hiding food in the oven only to turn it on days later and have to explain to the neighbors that no, our house is not on fire. Last night, the neurotic, evil, spaz of a dog Chloe ate 8 donuts out of a box on the counter. That was a fragrant evening. I haven't even mentioned the stealing of snacks out of my purse, eating leftover food off the plates in the sink, holes in the socks, the dish towels that end up in the yard, the de-eyeballing of stuffed animals and the chewing of 500 thread ct. duvet covers. I'm too exhausted to go on. Caesar Milan. We need you! Pleeeeeeze?

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