Thursday, May 29, 2008

Can't Breathe

Do you ever feel as if you're not in sync with the universe? Like Sara Bareilles says, (paraphrased) your head is underwater and people are telling you to breathe easy? Take my experiences recently, for instance...(poor, poor me).

The other day my neighbor decides to tell me that my daughter is missing too much school (they have no idea Bean's had major health problems)--Huh, OK, thanks? How do they know...I don't even know where to start, but this is strange on so many levels.

A family member, in an argument says to me, "Yeah, well you're on Prozac so YOU have issues"--True, but need it be said? I think not.

My son, a 7th grader, was suspended for a week for "plagiarism". (I put it in quotes because it is such an insane accusation.) He copied and pasted a quote from the internet, left it in an blatantly different font than the rest of his paper, and forgot to cite the author's name...and they called him a cheater, a plagiarist. I voiced my disappointment with the school's ruling and now they won't talk to me--REALLY? Did that REALLY happen? Oh, and then he had a panic attack because he was told he could be expelled-- He will be living in a bubble from now on.

Bean, my daughter, was diagnosed with Low Panic Fear Index Asthma. No, she can't just have regular asthma. You know how kids will tell you their most instinctive needs like, "Mom, I'm hungry," or "I need to go to the bathroom," or "Hey I can't breathe!" But with her condition, Bean will turn blue and pass out before she realizes there is a problem. DANGER WILL ROBINSON! So it's been like this: Me--Can you breathe? Bean--Yes. Me--Are you sure? Bean--Uh huh. Me--Can you breathe now? Bean--I think so. Me--What does that mean? Bean--Mom. Me--Yes? Bean--Leave me alone! Me--OK, but can you breathe?

So, while pitying myself instead of pitying myself, I try to remember what else is going on out there in the world that's greater than my woes. Music is my therapy and if any lyrics and music capture the essence of what is more important than me, myself and I, it is those of Dan Reed. Dan Reed's new album: Coming Up For Air is being released soon. It is my favorite "remember to breathe" ritual.

Friday, May 23, 2008

How do dreams come true? Step 1: Admit what they are!

It's about a half hour past midnight, I'm in New York and tonight I realized (again) that I'm not doing what I want to do, what I came here to do. Before I moved here people kept asking me what I was going to do in New York my answer was pretty shitty. "um I'm going to work and live and see what happens" well time to stop beating around the bush (ew I hate that I just said "beating around the bush"). "I'm here because I want to be on Broadway!" There I finally said it. It's been my dream forever. I love performing but that dream seems so cliche to me that I can't stand telling people that's what I want to do.

posted by anna

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

If this doesn't brighten your day, you are not-- oh whatever just watch

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Happy Birthday Bean

About 8 years and 3 hours ago you were born. I won't bore you with the 36 hours of labor, your head getting completely stuck, my dilation going backwards and delivering you finally via C-section. Nope. I just want to say to my baby girl, Happy Birthday! You are such a special spirit. May that spirit live on in you forever. May your soul be fed with so much love you will never want for any. May you always find peace within you to draw strength from. This will allow you to share your gifts with the world and pay it forward. Reap the rewards of giving, Bean and happiness will not be far away. Love, Mama

Friday, May 16, 2008

Random Thought

I drive a Prius, not because of my love for fancy, high powered, status vehicles--

Nope, I drive a Prius because I like to stealthily sneak up on pedestrians and...MEEP! Scare the bajeebes out of them.

By the way--come July when gas is $20 a gallon and everyone is stuck riding their kid's scooter, or skateboard to work I'll still be able to drive!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Found this at work...

Please if you do not want to get hurt, Please read this!

do not: do a hand stand when in bubble shoes!
do not: do a cartweel when in bubble shoes!
do not: run in bubble shoes!
do not: skip in bubble shoes!
do not: run down stairs in bubble shoes!
do not: sleep in bubble shoes!
do not: take a bath in bubble shoes!
do not: take a shower in bubble shoes!
don't: take a nap in bubble shoes!

Next to this note I Found the bubble shoes (made out of bubble wrap) that Bean made.
She had them ready to sell at my store for $5 a pair.
(I followed all her spelling, punctuation and formatting to the tee)

So I, what CAN you do in bubble shoes Bean?
Are you trying to tell me I'm an evil, rule enforcing, tyrannical mother in your own way?
Is this transference?

Friday, May 9, 2008

My Life With a Teenager So Far

It's been 6 weeks, 6 days, 15 hrs and 41 minutes since my son became a teenager. I have survived!
Apart from the occasional "Just leave me alone!", it hasn't been too terribly bad. All I can say right now is that I hope my son grows up to be as radical, confident, outspoken and funny as this kid in the video. I'd even take the hair!